Friday, April 18, 2014

Stop The World, I Want To Get Off

It's been a very up and down week, and if I balance out the pluses and minuses, I still find myself struggling with discouragement.

Safety Guy was hit at school again last week, punched several times in the head by someone he's had difficulty with all year.  I won't go into the details; suffice it to say that we are DONE with this district.  When I picked up our son that morning after the incident, I had him clean out his locker.  I had him checked out by a doctor (no concussion this time, thankfully), and spoke with the police to see if we should file a formal report, but since the injury was minor, they could only charge the other student with harassment, and the officer said even that wouldn't be likely to stick in juvenile court.

After talking it over with our son's pediatrician and his therapist, we decided to request home instruction for him for the rest of the year, since he'd be extremely likely to be bullied further if he returns to school.  This time he refused to hit back at the other student; next time he probably would hit back, and so be in even more trouble himself.  He has NO confidence in the adults around him at school, believing that they cannot or will not stand up for him and keep the antagonists off his back.  It's a sad situation when your son not only doesn't feel safe at school, but is reluctant to even walk around our small town because he could meet the other students who have picked on him.  

His pediatrician and his therapist are both appalled that this is still going on, and both wrote letters recommending that our son be instructed at home for the last 8 weeks of school; the doctor's letter carries the force of a prescription, so hopefully the school won't play any more games with us.  I just sent the letters (with a cover letter of my own) to the school today, by certified mail.  It's spring break, so we couldn't get the letters to them sooner - no one was in the high school to receive them this week.  I will be so glad when we're in a new school district.  I hope from the bottom of my heart that it's a fresh start and a better situation for Safety Guy.

The past 8 days have also seen two visits from a realtor (we like him, and we need to have the house staged and ready to photograph in 2 weeks), and a job interview for myself (yesterday, which went quite well, and I'll find out in a week or so if I get the job).  I have no idea how the next few months will play out, between putting the house on the market, looking for a rental, either starting a new job (I hope) or continuing to look for work (not a happy prospect), and organizing home instruction for our son through mid-June.  

In the middle of all this, the Princess had a state Horse Bowl competition last weekend, where her team placed first, and she was in the top 20 statewide.  She qualified for the invitational Horse Bowl event at the NY State Fair in August.  She's so proud of herself, and we're very proud of her too.

But it's a lot to process all at once lately, good and not so good.  It's like spinning plates in a circus act, and I don't like the feeling that I'm waiting for something to get totally unbalanced and crash to the floor in pieces.  My brain hurts; my spirit is sore; my patience is thin.  I'd like run away and hide from the world for a while.

I'm pushing on, because I don't have a choice, but I'm having a down day today, which I'm trying to overcome by remembering that it is Good Friday, and there is Hope.  Trials happen; painful times come and go; stress is a part of living.  But we are not alone or forsaken.  There will be better days ahead.  So I choose hope.

Monday, April 7, 2014

Hope Springs. . . .

-  first shoots of green grass in the ditches along the thruway

-  applying for jobs even when it seems like most applications just go into a black hole

-  cleaning the house (again/still/always) to show it to a realtor later this week

-  talking to a discouraged student last week, and hoping I made his burden a little less heavy

-  watching my daughter do what she loves (ride horses)

-  walking along the canal trail with my son, talking cars and looking for wildlife and signs of spring 

-  laying with my fluffy cat in a sunbeam, listening to her purr

-  sprucing up old furniture to give it a new lease on life

-  the ice on Oneida Lake is finally breaking up

-  flocks of robins looking for last year's berries and this year's worms

-  a bald eagle flying low over our car on the way home yesterday

-  spending time with my sister most nights (virtually - thank goodness for FB IM)

-  whittling my priorities into shape, and my expectations down to size

-  sharing a big anniversary and a handful of birthdays in one big family bash this weekend

-  melt water roaring over Hector Falls

-  rain (instead of snow)

-  green sprouts of daylilies in the garden