Monday, March 3, 2014
I wish I could make the whole moving process easier on my kids, especially on the Princess. She's put a brave face on it, and tried to be helpful and enthusiastic about moving, but inside, she's having a very hard time.
I can't blame her - this is her home. She has a handful of really good friends. She doesn't really want to leave them. I feel very badly for her, and I wish I could make it easier for her. I'm trying, really I am, but there are some hard things we just have to go through, and I can't change this one. All I can do is listen to her, keep what I can of her "old" life (her stable, and the friends she sees there), and help her work through all the hassle and frustration and anxiety and anger that moving has stirred up in her.
She's feeling a bit overwhelmed - school (both academics and music, since she's in concert band, chorus, jazz band, and all-county band), moving (new home in the summer/new school in the fall), riding (lessons will be ramping up for summer horse shows, and she's in 4H, which is just winding down from their winter activities - "Horse Bowl" competition, and her public presentation, which was this past weekend). She wanted to do AYSO soccer again this spring, but we're just running out of time and money to go around (time being the much bigger factor than money). Add in counseling and braces, and she's feeling very put-upon.
Then there's the elephant in the room, the separation between her father and I. As amicable as we've tried to keep it, it's still painful all around. So much for her to handle at such a young age. No wonder she's having difficulty coping.
I wish she were little again, and a snuggle and a hug could make it all better. . . .
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Clematis 'General Sikorski,' growing in a mostly shady location in our old yard.
Funny how looking back at something from a distance in time can bring it into clearer focus. (I know, Lady Obvious here.) But I noticed after I posted the garden photos yesterday that my old yard was actually very lush because it was partially shaded. Our new yard up here is very exposed, with no big trees, so there's only two places in the yard (north and east sides of the house) that are mostly/completely shaded. I used to look at shade as a bit of an obstacle to gardening, but I learned to work with it. Then I lost most of it, and came to value it even more.
Fern leaf bleeding hearts - one of my favorite shade perennials.
Unlike regular bleeding hearts, they keep their ferny foliage all season.
They also self-seed where they're happy, and it's easy
to move the seedlings to new homes.
All that to say, I hope wherever we land in the future, when I'm able to buy a home again (or land a great long-term rental), that I have more shade to play with in my new garden. Many plants benefit from partial shade, especially during the afternoon in the summer and in hot climates. Many "full sun" plants will do okay in light shade, or shade during the later part of the day. Experiment with the microclimates in your yard - you may be surprised to see something thrive where you least expect it to.
Oriental lily 'Bergamo,' which received filtered shade in the afternoons from an old crab apple tree. Lilies like their "feet in the shade, head in the sun."
No-name green hosta, growing in the most inhospitable place imaginable in a garden: under mature evergreen trees (hemlock, in this case). They look positively tropical, don't they?
Wild columbine (Aquilegia canadensis).
Most columbines like a bit of shade,
in my experience.
Peony 'Amalia Olson,' growing where it got lots of sun in the morning and early afternoon, then shade after about 2PM. It loved it.
Lady's Mantle (Alchemilla mollis), a classic part-shade perennial.
And toad lilies (Tricyrtis hirta), a really unique garden plant: it prefers full, dry shade, and blooms in the fall.